Years ago, my well meaning sister tried to set me up with a friend of hers.
“She is really smart…” my sister assured me.
I spoke to the gal over the phone and she seemed nice enough.
I went to her apartment and knocked on the door. This stunningly gorgeous brunette woman opens the door.
“Are you my date?” I salivated.
“No, she is getting ready”, replied the vision of loveliness. I figured if she was anywhere near as attractive as this woman, I’d be very happy.
When we got to the top of the stairs, out came this EVEN MORE gorgeous blonde.
“Are you my date?”, I asked hopefully.
“No, she is still getting ready”, replied the vision of blondliness. Again, I figured if this looked anywhere NEAR as good as these two, I’d be a very happy.
Finally, the bedroom door and out she came.
I think they had to grease the door sill so she could slide her massive frame out the door. This woman weighed well over 200 pounds. She had a face even a mother would fear.
All eyes were on my reaction, and I did not disappoint. No poker face here; my jaw just dropped, and I calculated how quickly I could get out of this, where to find my sister, and kill her.
I am a gentleman, and I followed through with taking her to dinner. I considered frightening some Chinese All You Eat Buffet places, but in the end I did take her to a nice place (she was a friend of my soon-to-be-late sister).
When she got out my car at the end of the evening, my car’s suspension and I breathed a sigh of relief.
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